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  • Writer's pictureJoe Griffiths-Barrasso

Pain is temporary, scars are for life...

Today I received my first ever tattoo (see the eye above), albeit a very small fine line tattoo on my big toe, but this connected a deep thought in my mind about pain, the impermanence of pain and scar-tissue.

To put this bluntly, whatever your pain, it will pass. The deeper process of the pain healing will leave an emotional scar for you to be with for the rest of your life. How you choose, and you have a choice, albeit one that is not so obvious, is to heal well, with help, or to heal in your own personal way. Either way, you are right by your choice, but you are not alone. Emotional scars can be the hardest, as the emotional pain (and difficulty), or the trauma of an emotional event that has taken place already can lay deep, and cut into other parts of your well-being, your decision making and most importantly your own self-regard.

I cannot express my empathy for you if you are reading this and carrying a deep emotional scar, not because I do not have empathy, quite the opposite, because you are not my client, yet. Right now, if you are carrying something deep down, a scar that has come from past, long or not so long ago, you might be trying to maintain a way of living, that is not based off your true self, the real you, the source of all your goals, wants and most importantly, your needs. These sensations, feelings, and thoughts can easily be ignored, buried and hidden from you because of the scars, and the memories, emotionally connected memories of what happened, the impact it had on you, and possibly those around you. You could be hiding yourself because your mind is controlling and wants to keep you safe from perceived (not real) harm.

Imagining what you have been through, and going through today is no good or helpful for you. Sympathy is no good either. What I do believe about you is you have a good nature, that you want to grow and reach your potential - you may not realise this, but within you are all what you need to reach and meet your inner-potential as a human being. The pain held and remembered by the scar(s) you live with can be ruptured, and re-healed, to make them work with you, not against you. The power of healing with help is immensely moving, and to drive your self-awareness to be with your scars, not to take them away. They no longer need to define who you are, but the right scar, the scar you healed with your own freewill and deep self regard, using the power you hold within you, will mark you as an equal, as someone who has control over self, and can see and make the better choices. Made by you, for you.

The power of Person-Centred counselling therapy are not always obvious. It takes time to find your connection to yourself, to eventually trust yourself to be you, always. The world of quick fixes and advice can help. This also builds dependency on others and what I offer is about healing yourself. Healing, as you might have realised through your own personal processes, takes time. Time is not guaranteed, each client has a personal time line of healing. Everyone is different, yet, ironically we are all the same through "how" we think, feel and behave. Our content (the "what"), and the unique circumstances we grow within, how we perceive reality and our biological DNA make us different. But I believe we are connected as a species. You're not alone.

Person-Centred therapy is unique, and to find out more simply use the form here and ask any question you feel will help you make a decision to how you wish to heal yourself.

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